I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
