I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
