this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
