I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
