You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
