I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
