Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
what day is it and did you see me today?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Dicks are not precious.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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