Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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