my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Drake has all the answers
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
