Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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