my room smells like sperm. sweet.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
