It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize