that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize