Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
