I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
