There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
