how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
