i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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