My brain says no but my pants say off.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
this beer tastes like vomit already
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Randomize
