I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Did we literally take a cab across the street
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
