he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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