i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
