I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
