she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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