he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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