I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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