my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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