I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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