Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
