I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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