things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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