On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
