Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
