I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
