i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She bit a glass in half.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
