This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
