If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
