hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
