this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
