i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
