It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
