just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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