I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
