you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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