I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
