you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
