I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
