she was so not down for the gang bang
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
