Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
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