why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
