there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
