So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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