Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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