my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
