btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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