Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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