Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
