i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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