i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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