Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
