Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
