nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
