we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
