so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
